Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
