Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
