Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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