better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
