if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
