I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
