I just pynch a tree in the face
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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