I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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