booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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