Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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