i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
