If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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