Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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