While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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