I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
