Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
