The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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