So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
