So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
