I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
