it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
