Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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