Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
