Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
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