who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im about as happy as oj after his trial
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
