you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
