Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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