And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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