I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
