You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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