Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
