I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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