What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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