Are we in a gay sports bar?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can vaginas get frostbite?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
