it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
