that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
