Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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