Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
