My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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