i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
