just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
