Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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