I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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