ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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