You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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