dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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