Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize