You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Your penis caused this!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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