I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
