Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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