There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
