just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.