therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
