I just made out with a guy for $7.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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