the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
