you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
