champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
