Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
as a side note pls kill me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
