**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
