it was like his penis was on wheels.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
