Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
