So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
