I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
